I was hoping that Mr. T read my blog, especially the topic that I post which name LOVE?. Yesterday, 27th August 2009 midnight he was boring and nothing to do. At the same time, I was chatting with him and my ex student. Mr. T said that he nothing to do and read my blog. When he said that he was reading my blog, I feel happy, nervous and scare. Did you know why I feel happy? Because the day that I hope had already come. I feel nervous and scare because after he read, I don’t know what his reaction is. The feeling of happy, nervous and scare had already disappeared. Here, comes a new and weird feeling. This weird feeling was hard to describe. Because when I knew that he reading, I was feeling like I’m going to hell soon. After he read the topic, he said he feeling was full of guilty. And asked me isn’t it he treat me so bad? I don’t know how to answer and say don’t know. Is that what I hope? Or is that another aim that I want? Isn’t what I wrote at the topic of LOVE was cheating myself and also him?

This 4 sentences isn’t I’m just want cheat him because want to be friend back?

And, if now u asked once again ‘did I still love you or not?’ I will answer you honestly ‘before yes! But now, I do not love you anymore!’ I just keep you as a friend. That all!

If this sentences that I write is true. Why my feeling is different? Isn’t everything remains the same? The feelings on him still the same? I also don’t know my feeling is how. I was very confusing with that feeling. I don’t hope that he see this topic of blog. I wish he forever don’t know this topic appear in my blog because I hope our friend relationship remains the same.