4-
1=
34 =
Me, Tze Ling, Andrea, Chee Ching-
1 =
Me
3 =
Tze Ling, Andrea, Chee Ching
The gap is getting big and big and big…
No more
30 meter…
It is far and far and far…
The distance far until unable to measure the distance…
You get what I mean?
Did u know what I mean?
Every time I face with them..
Especially when we have a gap
And the gap getting further..
And…
The problems keep on happening between us…
Every time this kind of problem happens…
I always the 1 who become the people that no people will bother about me…
And..
Every time problem come..
I sure don’t know
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING…
Why I so stupid?
And.. always be the one who blur blur every moment!
Every time.. problem happen…
My heart.. getting pain and pain!
The painful I get is really making me feel want to cry every time…
Is not just my heart crying…
But then…
My heart also crying all the time…
Tell the true..
This is not
2nd time..
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
The
1st case story…
Always play in my mind..
I know the 1st case is my wrong also…
So.. someone sister revenge back
And.. cause of the revenge… they treat me really very cold… not only they! Is
EVERYONE!
EVERYONE!
I still remember the moment…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lim: free?
Meng Yee : What?Lim: Why you sould like so piss off?
Meng Yee: a lot of thing happen
Lim: what thing?
Meng Yee: I don’t know why they all keep on avoid me…
Lim: that’s why you so piss off?
Meng Yee: actually I really don’t know what happening…
Lim: did you remember say this kind of word before? ……………..Meng Yee: NO! NO! I never say all this word before… [tear start drop]
Lim: you should appreciate your friend… they ask me to search about Mr. T stuff… they treat you enough good…
Meng Yee: I swear upon all the god… I never say all this word before.. ok?
Lim: I will find out who wan do spoil your name…
Meng Yee : OK…-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ceramah that time.. the ceramah tema is
“Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita”
Everyone have to make a group…
The group mixing with other form…
I really tak sukarela want join the group at all…
Because that time I was facing the problem
Every word the ceramah people say…
Make my heart keep on bleeding..
Get attacked! Deep From My
HEART!
The place was directly look at someone sister…
Make my heart keep bleeding..
Non-stop! Non-stop!
The pain that I feel.. until now I really remember…
Then..
I really cannot tahan this kind of pain…
I tell to
Cik Haniam [my ex chemistry teacher] that I cant breath.. cause I cant face her… the more I look at her.. the more I feel the pain and my eye keep on started want cry
[but I cant cry suddenly.. I keep on tahan my tear… ] that’s why I try to escape everything… try to run away from the hall…
Then..
When rehat…
I went back to my class… I sat alone… then..
Pn. Kartini enter the class… she thought got class.. and don’t know got ceramah at hall there…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pn Kartini : Kenapa awak ada kat sini? Mana lain?Meng Yee : Dewan ada ceramah.. semua kena naik ke dewan…
Pn Kartini : Lepas tu.. kenapa awak ada kat sini?
Meng Yee : Sebab kat dewan.. banyak orang ni.. tak boleh nafas.. sesak nafas… [actually excuse]
Pn. Kartini : hmm.. pergi la bilik saya kat ketua bidang… erm.. ada kerja buat?Meng Yee : ok jugak.. ada… tuisyen punyai nota kena salin balik ni…
Pn. Kartini : Jom pergi!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At that moment… I felt that..
Pn.Kartini is my penyelamat!
Thanks her a lot cause helping me to escape!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I reach home…
I kept on do my homework with all the tear…
Because… while doing homework… I keep on thinking what happen actually until spoil the relationship?
My tear stop for awhile…
Suddenly..
Mr. Jason…
He phone me…
I answer his call…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason: how do you do?
Meng Yee: not really good…
Jason : Why?Meng Yee : cause a lot of thing happen…Jason : so.. can share with me what happen?
Meng Yee : you want to know?Jason : YES! Because you are my friend…
Meng Yee : ok.. I tell u all the story… bla bla bla [a bit tear drop from my eye]
Jason : why don’t you ask them what happening? If you keep on like this.. making yourself suffer only…
Meng Yee : I don’t know how to start 1st.. I don’t know what should I ask…Jason : you ar.. like to advise and teach me how to do.. but now.. your own situation also don’t know how to solve…Meng Yee : it hard to say from mouth..Jason : sms also can.. but for me.. I hope you find one of them talk about this.. if not.. you really have to suffer…Meng Yee : I will try my best…Jason : good luck ya…Meng Yee : Bye…-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At school…
I was thinking how I’m going to start?
Then, when at hall there…
[got ceramah again]Tze Ling sitting beside me…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meng Yee : I got something want to talk to you
Tze Ling : ok… let’s go to the teacher staff room there…
Teacher Staff Room…. Open the
1st aid kit and sitting at the chair there
[act injure..]Meng Yee : actually what happen?
Tze Ling : I tell you what really happening… bla bla bla… did you say those word?Meng Yee : nope!Tze Ling : ya.. that’s why… I don’t who want to believe who? I sure that you wont say such word.. but.. she is someone sister.. I don’t want to near anyone of you 1st…Meng Yee : *tear keep on falling…
Tze Ling : Ok la.. lets go back.. if not.. they all sure keep on asking why go out with you so long…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lim come to
YL cause find
Yee Ling…
Ask me go eat eat at
Jusco then go tuition….
Lim: why look so moody?Meng Yee : nothing ar… [keep on sms with Mr. T… got a bit argument]
Lim : hmm…
Meng Yee: so… you check until how?
Lim : about what?Meng Yee : about that case la…
Lim : wait they all come la…
When they reach
Jusco.. they go to toilet…
Meng Yee: so.. you can tell out now…Lim: actually like this… bla bla bla… you and him got fault also la…Meng Yee: Ooo…***** End Of Story… we stick back together ******
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
2nd case…
You can see at the topic
“MISSUNDERSTAND”-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
From the
1st and
2nd case… give me a lesson…
The lesson is..
THINK before
SAY!
You know why?
Because every word I say might be hurt people…
We don’t even know that the word we say were hurting people’s feeling…
Actually I quite disappointed and angry with this year…
Don’t know why all the bad things keep on go to me…
And.. keep on repeat the phenomena…
Keep on make me sad…
REPEAT and
REPEAT and
REPEAT…
And my feeling was…
HURT and
HURT and
HURT….
Every case that happen on me really hurt me badly…
1st case happen = after solving…
Mr.T and I got problem… and.. break…
[2 in 1]
2nd case happen = laugh signal and eye signal
[I cant understand at all]
Isn’t this year my house feng shui not good or my class feng shui not good?
I was wondering…
When I was diam diam… they also like don’t want talk to me…
I really feel like this friendship.. not rapat as previous…
Semakin hari semakin longgar…
And…
Every time…
They keep on give me a feeling that…
“
YOU! Had been replaced by other people… so… get lost from the group…”
And…
I keep on feel like…
They couldn’t really know what I’m thinking….
Couldn’t know my feeling…
The feeling of happy…. When I’m act happy… did they really know? When I really happy… did they know?
I don’t think so they will know….
When I really sad… definitely they will know.. because… my face there will write… “I’m
SAD”
Sometime…
I really hate they keep on give eye signal…
Know I’m not a genius person…
Not as you all…
All get
8A’s and
7A’s…
Me.. just
5A…
Not much….
Eye signal… is not a good signal for me…
Why don’t they tell out what they want to say?
Why must give all such signal?
Tell out.. might be really hurt… but.. at least better that give signal…
Once receive wrong signal…
MISSUNDERSTAND happen…
Maybe your eye signal… I really cannot understand.. cause.. you all together since form
1…
Go through a lot of problem… and face the problem together…
I’m just like alien… get into your group when form
2…
Isn’t too late?
Actually.. from that moment… I try myself to understand you all…
But…
Until form
4…
Everything like…. Different…. Totally different…
So much thing happen until.. I hide everything include my feeling and all the word inside my heart…
I don’t dare say out what’s my feeling…
Keep on act happy…
Until.. don’t know what is the meaning of happy…
And… im suffering in pain…
Keep on put inside my heart…
And.. until like… make myself.. cant breath…
You know.. sesak nafas?
I really feel like sesat nafas…
My heart not comfortable…
Maybe cause.. keep on put all thing inside my heart…
One day… it will explode…
If like this feeling keep on…
I really cant tahan…
I will get out from the group…
I really tired…
I hate this feel…
Tired….
Really tired…
Please don’t always like that hurt me can?
Once I really get out from group…
Me and you all…
Just normal friend…
Just talk about school stuff and important stuff….
Every time you all treat me so cold…
Always make me feel like…
I’m regret that I come to
KL…
I rather stay at
Ipoh…
Peaceful life…
I enjoy my primary life compare secondary….
I HATE MYSELF!
HATE! HATE! HATE![My Status : Moody, Tired with all this, Sad]
♥our lips must always be sealed
8:39 PM
Mc Donald Ice-Cream
Saturday, October 10, 2009